If you were glued to The Ultimatum: Queer Love season two (same, babes), you’ll know Pilar and Haley as one of the couples everyone had opinions about. Fast-forward past the trial marriages, off-camera drama and internet speculation – the two are now engaged and planning an elopement. We sat down with them to chat wedding plans, how the show edited their ten-year love story, what really went down off-screen, and the messy-but-healing journey of navigating family acceptance. Think of this as the behind-the-scenes tea you didn’t get from Netflix. You. Are. Welcome.
1. Firstly, congratulations on your engagement, super exciting – how is the wedding planning going? Can you let us in on any details?
Thank you so much, we are also so excited! Wedding planning, well, Elopement planning is in full swing. We have a date, venue, and some other details sorted out, but overall, we are having fun winging it. The most important thing for us is being together, having fun, and making things legal while we still can. Our dream would be to have a full-blown, wedding-type celebration in a year or two and invite all of our friends and family to celebrate with us.
2. Are any of the cast of The Ultimatum invited to the wedding?
Due to our short timeline and very limited guest count, none of the cast will be at our elopement. However, should we decide to have a larger wedding-type celebration later on, there are a few people who would make the guest list.
Article continues below.
3. How do you feel about the show? Were you portrayed correctly? Were there any important things cut out or edited?
Viewers don’t get to see the history and chemistry behind our relationship, which led a lot of people to think we were complacent and platonic in our relationship, which is so far from the truth. A lot of what was cut out about our story was the strong foundation we have built over 10 years before the show. If people had seen more of our backstory and how confident we are in our relationship, then they would be able to see that’s why we were so sure we would be able to work through anything that came up.
4. Why did you decide to go on the show, and would you recommend anyone else go on the show?
When the opportunity to go on the show arose, we had a lot of conversations about what marriage meant to each of us. For Haley, it was about the legal protection and security it provides, while Pilar felt content building a life together without needing marriage to define it. For Pilar, there was also the weight of feeling like marriage meant choosing between Haley and her family, and delaying that step was a way of hoping her family would eventually come around. The process ended up being far more emotionally taxing than we ever imagined. Looking back, we wish we had handled and worked through things privately. So, NO, we wouldn’t recommend anyone else go on.
5. Is there anything that happened off-screen during or after the show that you can share with us?
Many of the situations that viewers saw unfold on screen actually started off-camera. The cast met up A LOT outside of filming, and those hangouts built friendships and rivalries that ended up shaping what you saw on screen. Those off-camera conversations and hangouts ended up fueling games of telephone, rumours, and shifting alliances that directly influenced what happened in the trial marriages and choices that may not have made sense without that missing context. We both feel that if cast members wanted to meet up or build those friendships, it would’ve been better shown on camera, because those moments had a huge impact on the trial marriages. And honestly, as messy as things got during filming, things only became messier once the cameras stopped and especially after the show came out.
6. Haley, you explored a connection with Magan. Do you think the show pushed that at all? Or how real is it? How have you both got passed that as a couple?
I don’t necessarily feel like the producers pushed the connection, but the nature of the experience is set up to drive closeness with your trial marriage partner. I was so uncomfortable in the beginning of the experience and felt starved of communication from friends and loved ones, which made it much easier to confuse my feelings of lust for love. In the beginning, she was very protective and doting, which made me feel safe to let my guard down and be open and vulnerable. I’m grateful to have seen the more real side of Magan in the second half of the show because it solidified to me that the qualities I felt like I fell in love with were actually qualities I myself have and don’t give myself credit for. As for getting past the situation, it was all about healthy communication and understanding each other.
7. What advice do you have for other couples who have experienced similar things?
Our advice would be to give your partner the space to process, while showing up with patience, love, and support in the way they need it. Navigating family acceptance is deeply personal, and it takes time. But at the same time, if someone is unwilling to choose themselves and step into a future with you, it’s important to recognise that too. Love deserves room to grow, but it also deserves commitment. Our story is far from perfect, but we’re so happy and confident that despite all the years and everything we’ve been through, we continue to choose each other.
8. Pilar, you opened up on the show about how complicated things are with your family (thank you for sharing this). When you told them about the engagement, did it build any relationships at all? What advice do you give to others experiencing what you have?
Seeing my parents after the show and sharing our engagement opened the door to rebuilding our relationship. I’m grateful for that, but I’ve learned healing didn’t come from their acceptance; it came from grieving the relationship I wished we had and letting go of tying my self-worth to their approval. Once I started respecting and loving myself, I found real healing through the community that embraces me as I am. My advice is: allow yourself to grieve, but don’t wait for anyone else’s permission to live and love fully; you are already worthy of love.
Thanks for the catch-up,
Nonchalant x
This article was written by one of our creative team writers here at Nonchalant Magazine.
