We asked 70+ lesbians and bisexual women the funniest pickup lines that have been said to them either on a night out or via a lesbian dating app. Why? Because we wanted a laugh. Read on for the results of 70 lesbian cringe-worthy pickup lines, as selected, shared and used by you. You absolute rascals. Because there were so many, we’ve categorised these chat-up lines, but let’s face it – most of these are cringe AF… enjoy the lols. But first, we wanted to give you a small oversite of the history of chat-up lines first.
History of the chat-up line
So, the history of chat-up lines is pretty interesting. They’ve been around for ages, and people have tried to charm each other with clever or cheesy lines for centuries. Back in the day, poets used to drop poetic lines to woo their crushes. In the 19th century, there were even “flirtation cards” that people would discreetly pass to someone they fancied.
But the term “chat-up line” became more popular in the 20th century. It’s a playful or humorous remark used to start a conversation and make a romantic connection. Some are cringe-worthy, while others are surprisingly effective. It’s like a dance of words to break the ice
70 Lesbian Pickup Lines
Our Top Voted Lesbian Pickup Lines
“I’ve lost my number can I have yours”
“Are you an appendix? Because I don’t know how you work, but this feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out”
Say to them “Feel this” then get them to feel my arm and then say, ‘Girlfriend material’.
“I’ve got a magic watch on, and my magic watch tells me what colour underwear you’re wearing, I’ll just check it. Oh, that’s weird, it says you’re not wearing any underwear, it must be ten minutes fast.”
Throw an ice cube on the floor, and say “Well, now we’ve broken the ice, can I buy you a drink?”.
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“Well, here I am, what are your other two wishes?”
“Do you have a name, or can I just call you mine?”
“You look like my next girlfriend”
“Did we go to school together? I could swear we had chemistry”
“Is your name Google? Because you’re everything I’ve been searching for.”
“You’re right, I’m bisexual. Can I bi you a shot?”
“I bet your permit got revoked for driving all these girls crazy.”
“When I’m around you I can’t think straight.”
“Are you a WiFi signal? Because I’m feeling a connection.”
“Do you have a sunburn, or are you always this hot?”
“Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?”
“If you were a fruit, you’d be a fineapple.”
Dirty Lesbian Pickup Lines
“You remind me of a Happy Meal…because I’m going to make you come with a toy inside.”
“How do lesbians make love? It’s too complicated. I’d have to show you.”
“Nice legs! They’d look better on my shoulders.”
“Kiss me in the rain so I’ll be twice as wet.”
“Roses are red, your underwear is lace, take them off and sit on my face.”
“Your face or mine?”
“I’ve got an oral exam later, can I practise with you?”
“Whenever I google where to eat out, your name always seems to come up”
“Are you autumn? Cause you’ll be coming soon!”
“You look busy, but please add me to your list of things to do.”
“I’m looking for treasure, mind if I explore your chest?”
“Nice legs, when do they open?”
“Women should always stick together, thigh to thigh.”
“Wanna play rock paper scissors?”
Cringe Lesbian Pickup Lines
Let’s face it, all of these are cringe-ville on this whole list, but we had to whittle out these particularly horrendous lesbian pickup lines.
“Let’s flip a coin! Heads you’re mine. Tails I’m yours!”
“If beauty were time, you’d be an eternity.”
“Do you have a pencil? Because I want to erase your past and write our future.”
“So you’re still straight? Have you met me?”
“Hi, can I buy you that book? (No.) You’re right, who needs a book when you and I could create our own story.”
“I envy the coffee cup, that kisses your lips every morning.”
“Excuse me, but I think the stars tonight are outshone by your smile.”
“Stop undressing me with your eyes! Use your teeth!”
“It’s a good thing that same-sex marriage is legal here because I’m already planning our wedding.”
“Les-bi-honest… you were checking me out, weren’t you?”
“Hey, can I borrow your lipstick and your lips?”
“I’ll be the Rose to your Rosie.”
“I love my bed but I prefer to be on yours”
“You’re a complete package. Can I unwrap you?”
“Are you a campfire? Cause you’re hot and I want s’more”
“Roses are red, violets are blue, it would be a shame if I couldn’t date you!”
“Are you a magician? Because every time I look at your profile, everyone else disappears.”
“Is it just me or are we a match made in swiping heaven?”
“Are you a parking ticket? Because you’ve got “fine” written all over you.”
“Hey, I’m writing an article on the finer things in life and I was hoping I could interview you.”
“If you were words on a page, you’d be the fine print.”
“Are you a time traveler? Because I can’t imagine my future without you.”
Funny Lesbian Pickup Lines
Okay, so the ones that came in to us below are ridiculous so we had to put them in the funny lesbian pickup lines category.
“OMG! You’ve really nice fingers.”
“I am a hot lesbian, hold my hand.”
“Has anybody ever let you know that you have a surprise ass?”
“B*tch, you so fine, I’ll tap that.”
“Is your name Wally? Because someone like you is hard to find.”
“Do you like Star Wars? Because Yoda one for me!”
“Is your name Ariel? Because we mermaid for each other.”
“I like my men like I like my coffee….I don’t like coffee.”
“If I could, I’d get rid of all of the chairs in the world so that you’d have to sit on my face.”
“Hey baby, wanna boldly go where no man has been before?”
“Is that a double-ended vibrator in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?”
“F**k me if I’m wrong, but isn’t your name Hot-pants down under?”
“Are you a mechanic? Cause you got me looking at your bumpers”
“I don’t have a Subaru, but I can be a sub for you”
“Do you have a phone in your back pocket? Cause that ass be callin’ me”
“If you were a cat, you’d purr-fect.”
“Are you a camera? Every time I look at you, I smile.”
And there you have it, the chat-up lines you’ve had to cringe at on nights out. Thanks for sharing them with us, we laughed a lot – then cringed a lot.
If you have any more lesbian chat up lines that deserve to be on this list of lols, then comment below.
Team Nonahalant x
This article was written by one of our creative team writers here at Nonchalant Magazine.
Roses are red,violets are grey. Two plus two is 5 and 3 [plus 4 is eight. Other person: “That’s wrong” Well when i’m with you I can’t even think straight.